exercising my literacy

The biggest problem in the world.

Be warned: this is going to be a long one.

I don't particularly like reading long-winded blogs so I don't think they're a good idea but sometimes you just need to say what you need to say.

Over the course of this year, there's been one theme that I think God's really honed into me; time and time again something will come up, in a book, a verse, an idea discussed in bible study, something I read in the papers or talk over with friends.

More and more I've begun to notice that the world is so preoccupied with itself. If there is one detractor from God, it isn't money, possessions, sex or lust... it's self-worship. We are our own idols. We are obsessed with ourselves. Don't believe me?

We are obsessed with what we look like. Think about your local shopping centre. How many shops are dedicated to selling something to enhance your image? If not clothes, then cosmetics, jewellery; haircare, skincare, suncare, nailcare. The professional photography places make a fortune from giving you mini-makeovers and taking airbrushed pictures of yourself so that you can show everyone how photogenic you can be; you'll hang it loud and proud above the mantle in your living room. When we look at photos just taken on the digital camera, the first thing we look at is how we look in the photo -- we'll demand a re-take if we blinked, look fat, look ugly etc.

We are obsessed with what we "really" are like. Personality tests, IQ tests, EQ tests, psychometric tests, love quizzes, Cosmo quizzes, every type of quiz... we love to "discover" ourselves, we love hearing about what people think of us, we love to analyse everything about ourselves. No matter how many of these quizzes we've done, we still do more. We love to find particular adjectives to describe ourselves; "My name is ----- and I'm loyal, sincere, shy at first but once you get to know me I'm quite out-going..."

We are obsessed with the contents of our lives. We are consumed with thinking about our past, our present, our future. When we pray to God, how often are we just asking Him to smooth out the wrinkles that mar our "perfect plan" from now til 65? Our thoughts are constantly about how we can improve our own lives: buying things, going places, investing in things. We feel really ripped off by God if it doesn't go to plan as though God owed us to fulfill the blueprint which we've drawn up.

Even religion is self-focused. Most are about self-discovery, being in touch with yourself (whatever that means), self-enlightenment. I'm sad to say even Christianity feels self-orientated. When we say to Sunday School kids, God loves you, more and more we say 'God loves YOU!' instead of 'GOD! loves you'. We read the Bible looking for verses that has something to say about our situation, rather than looking for what it says about Him, how we can learn more about His qualities.

The best book I've read this year is Max Lucado's "It's Not About Me". There is really no better way to sum up what I've learnt this year than the title of that book.

Sometimes I am just so ashamed and I literally cringe at the way I've fallen into that trap. God must be so appalled at us -- we've turned away from almighty, all-powerful, majestic Him to what? God got replaced in my heart for... me? Sinful, corrupt, insignificant me. Oh the audacity. Can you imagine how much God would be thinking, "What nerve do you have, to think that you can replace me?!?"

God doesn't need us. It's not like He was a lonely heart until He made us (this awakening I got from John Piper's "The Pleasures of God", also def worth recommending). We are nothing.

And more and more I realise that this is why we are so screwed up. This is what we get for relying our ownselves, thinking that we can be satisfied in creating our own happiness, our own religion of "being who I really am". We get dissappointment. People think they are free, but I can't think of a greater burden in life than to rely on myself. It's all up to me. There's no one else to look to, no one else to blame. It's all me.

As with all long blogs, there should be a point somewhere otherwise it's just a waste of virtual space. My point is: the world is completely self-absorbed. I am no exception. And gosh that is so insulting to God.

Father please forgive me for taking Your place. Let me only seek Your glory, not mine.

posted by me. @ 11:34 PM