The weakness of one.
"Two are better than one,because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?" - Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
There are times when I walk about in the shopping centre that I notice the sheer amount of couples walking around. Holding hands. Two by two. Most of the time I think it's really sweet that people are together and are in love, but sometimes I can't help but notice my aloneness.
I'm ok with where I am at the moment, because honestly I feel like I'm growing so much more now than when I wasn't single. But I do occasionally get that tinge of blue in being alone, which I think it's natural. People were made for companionship. I'm ok with that because, at the end of the day, I know that this is a transient phase in my life which will pass, just as winter always morphs into spring.
But it makes me think about widows.
"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need." - 1 Timothy 5:3
In one's youth, we search for that perfect someone to spend a lifetime with. I think it is one of life's greatest joys, to find the one to 'do life with', with whom you share understanding, love, children, laughter. But unfortunately, things are not 'happily ever after' because, quite simply, that people don't live ever after. As joyful as it is to watch two people pledge a wedding vow, there is still that bit at the end: "til death do us part"; which reminds us that this union isn't forever.
And one will be left standing alone.
My heart really goes out to people who have lost their spouse. I honestly don't know how they could gather the strength to get out of bed -- when everything in the house, in their children, in everything, reminds them of the wonderful times they shared together, which is now but a memory. A few months back we had some oncology lectures, and a lady who lost her husband to cancer spoke to us about her and her husband's experiences of the hospital system. She didn't use fancy words or emotive sentiment, but when she finished, there was not a dry eye in the lecture theatre. My heart really sank low that day. I could go home to my family, my mum and dad, back to reality where things were all 'ok'. But for her, reality was this immense hollowing pain which was so palpable in the way she spoke, reminsced, cried.
One time on late-night radio, a woman called to dedicate a song to her late husband, who had passed away 9 months before. She told the announcer the story of how they met, how it came about that this song she wanted to be played became 'their song', how she cries every night looking at the empty side of their marital bed. I cried all the way home, driving through foggy tears. I didn't know this woman at all, but her sorrow really resonated with me.
People say that when one spouse dies, the other one often dies soon after from heartbreak. I'm sure they're right.
For me, being on my own is temporary. I pray for those who stand alone now, having known the love of their lives, whose loneliness is everyday, maybe for the rest of their lives. I pray that in their weakness, God will be strong.
posted by me. @ 1:45 PM
3 Comments:
i swung by to say hello, and i have to sign in to make a comment under my own name - i don't think so. i'll leave you be with elle + m.teresa
it's funny though - once you're part of a 'two', people seem to think you're happy and that you're not alone...but that's not necessarily the case is it? you can still be part of a 'two' yet remain 'alone' at heart, which in the end is all rather depressing. why be in a 'two' then - why not be just 'one'? perhaps it's just comforting to know that you're a part of something, even though you may not completely belong, but often it is this same attachment which brings about our downfall would you not say?
i didn't mean to pose so many questions *sorry* just random thoughts spilling over...
hey E/MT (hehe)... thanks for leaving a note!
I could be just naive but I do believe that if I have found the right 'one' to make a 'two' with, then both our lives are better for it. But I hear what you're saying, and I know what you mean with feeling alone even when you're part of a 'two'.
"The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell" - C.S. Lewis
Yeah it may be our downfall, the stakes are indeed very high, but if you don't place your bets, you'll never win the prize. I guess a good principle would be bet with your head, not over it (or with your heart where your head is waving a big 'no!' sign, which girls are particularly susceptible to).
I don't know, what do you (the general reading public as well as E/MT) think?
Hmmm. This is sorta related. But I think that way too many people assume that marriage and finding 'the one' is the norm. It is so easy to go through life without meeting anyone. I'm surprised it isn't the norm to be single to tell you the truth.
But yeah I think that's just the cynic in me talking. :P
Though I do think it's dangerous to assume that we'll be happily marriage eventually. In fact I would say it's a significant threat to peoples faith which goes relatively unnoticed. The woman you mentioned in your 'concrete cracks' post is an example.
I think that if someone is still holding onto the concept of marriage as an important part of their life or future life, they should try to learn to let go of it. Treat it as a gift from God, something that you might get, but it shouldn't be a priority.
The hard part is doing that without falling into cynicism or despair.
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