Swing, swang, swung.
Some days I think that maybe (excuse the melodrama) life is passing me by.I was saying to someone that I couldn't wait until my holiday break in March, when everything would be over and I can finally breathe a little easier. I say stuff like that all the time. Then I realised, hey, I say stuff like this all the time! Isn't there something wrong here? Why am I always living to "get through" the present time, rather than enjoying the here and now? I'll bet that come end March I'll be just as stressed with something (plural) else. So in March I'll be saying, man I can't wait until April etc etc.
I feel a little like a monkey who swings from one branch to another to another, always hoping that a solid landing lies at the other end, only to find nothing except another rope by which I must swing to in order to stay buoyant.
I don't want to keep wishing for time to be fastforwarded. I want to be thankful for the days that I'm given, rather than get up every morning and think, oh man, can't wait til this day is over -- as I felt today at the prospect of a full day of hospital and a full night of work (and yes I'm still typing away now at 12am... I don't think I have a Circadian rhythm anymore...).
I don't want to keep swinging on and on only to one day realise that it doesn't lead anywhere; or that I'm too old, lost all olfactory sense, and thus could no longer smell the flowers even if I stopped or however that cliche goes.
Holy schmoly is this what people with mid-life crises feel like?
posted by me. @ 12:14 AM
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