The Rules and the Truth.
[okay I'm bored out of my mind from studying path... the inward guilt is enough already so none of you start on why I'm blogging one week before exams... and exactly what are you doing reading my blog instead of reading about Federal Constitution or Erikson's behaviour models or... damn and I think I'm getting sick too *whinge whinge moan moan*]The paper today had something on "The Rules". If you've never heard of it before, it was this book written in the early 90s which claimed that if you followed their 35 rules, you were sure to land your Prince Charming who would treat you like the princess you deserve to be. It was a best-seller and is now printed in 20-something languages. Having looked at a few of the rules, I can only say that the success of the book says much more about the state of the world than any astounding revelations conjured up by its authors.
To be fair, there is some good common sense in the book (I find #7 particularly amusing: "If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period."). And I agree with their recurring theme about men taking the initiative. But I have a problem with the overall premise of the book: that women must follow rules, play aloof and hard to get ("Responding once for every four of his emails is a good rule of thumb"), whilst cunningly strategising each move like a game of chess ("Close the deal -- Rules women don't date men for more than two years") until "Checkmate!", er I mean, "I do!" is triumphantly proclaimed.
Their justification for such game-playing is that "men are born to respond to challenge. Take away challenge and their interest wanes." Thus in order to keep your man desiring you, you have to keep playing elusive and unattainable. The founding feminists must be turning in their graves (okay no just in their easy chairs, they're not old enough to be dead yet, I think =Þ).
Seriously though, to me it says a lot about the way things are now. We need 'rules' to play the game of love because we feel like there is no control in anything. We need rules about dieting, parenting, how to be successful, how to win friends and influence others. This explains the self-help book section taking up half the floor space in the bookstore I used to work at. We work hard to come out on top, we make deliberate actions to get what we want.
Maybe they all felt like me in the last post. They want to know the answers, they want the instruction manual. But the people that write these books, who's to say they are right? Who's to say (and I doubt it very much) that if you followed these 35 rules that you will be eternally blissful in your love life? That's the thing, there is no certainty. Give it time and someone else will write another book. And another, and another. All opinions but no answer.
Except there are instructions to this life. It's called the Bible. He made us, so I reckon He'd know what He's talking about when He says something, huh? So even though I feel lost sometimes, I know that on the important stuff what is right and what is wrong. And with the other stuff, I know that He will take care of that too; I just need to trust His timing.
Like Jesus said, He is the way and the truth and the life (John 14:6). I guess He is the ultimate B.O.B.
posted by me. @ 9:12 PM
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