exercising my literacy

Fever!

The problem with doing med is that rather than becoming the empathetic individuals that society thinks we will be - because we've seen the worst of the worst - we're pretty unempathetic until you're practically at your deathbed.

For example, we always just ride off people with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. If you're unfamiliar with what that is, it's described as "having the flu all the time", and it's something you can get after a bout of glandular fever. It stays for ages and doesn't really ever go away. I was talking to a girl the other day who had Chronic Fatigue... she was my age and she's had it since year 12.

Now that I've got the flu, my head is killing, my muscles are aching, my throat is burning, my nose is blocked and I feel hot and cold at the same time, I really feel bad for people with Chronic Fatigue. I can't believe that this girl's lived this way for 5 years.

So then driving home today I thought of three things. One, how lucky I am that I'm still a student and can bugger off home when I'm sick. In two year's time I'd have to stay put and finish off my daily intern tasks before going home. You can't take sickies because, like I said, doctors don't give you sympathy unless you are going to die right now (even if you feel like you are).

Second, that I've grown really calloused. When people tell me they're sick, my first reaction is just "yeah yeah you'll get over it in 3 days..." But it is a pretty miserable 3 days for those people, even though we don't consider it a serious anything in our eyes. It's serious to them and I should be respectful of that.

Thirdly, I thought about the people lying on the east wing of the ground floor at my hospital. They're the ones who really are on their deathbed. If getting the flu feels this bad already, what must that be like? I really really can't imagine. I'm whinging about being flu-ish, but really I haven't even stepped up on the scale of human sickness and suffering.

Okay, back to sleep. I've got an exam tomorrow, I am so screwed...

I'll leave you with this song which I can't get out of my head. Apt I know, haha. But at least it makes me feel a tad more sexier than my current bedhair and pyjamas state... and hey, now I have the croaky sultry voice to go with it...

Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me, I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever...
When you kiss me, fever when you hold me tight
Fever!
In the morning, fever all through the night.

posted by me. @ 7:10 PM 0 comments

The catering girl.

A few weeks ago Mia Freedman wrote a really good article about the latest Destiny's Child song, Cater 2 U. She had the same outrage that I had when I first caught ears of it. She and I share the same "I'm not a feminist but c'mon..." sentiment. In a nutshell, she voiced her disbelief that in this day and age there could exist a song sung by a supposed female-enpowering girl group (what happened to the Independent Woman who was Bootylicious?) that said that she was at beck and call by her man - she'll get his slippers, his dessert and so much more...

(I know how old and whingy I sound by having just used the phrase "this day and age")

Since then, I've calmed down somewhat and pondered more about the issue. I'm learning the wisdom of getting some composure before putting anything to pen and paper (okay, type and, um, blog); at least my thoughts would be of more substance and dimension. Otherwise I'm just saying what everyone else would have instinctively said and what is the point of writing if it's just the same old cliched banter?

Anyway.

Having heard the song numerous more times on the radio, it got me thinking. The reason why Destiny's Child can get away with singing these lyrics is that, despite how much our feminist/independent/bootylicious selves want to burn this preposterous propaganda, we all know that there is a certain grain of truth to it. We hate the fact but we've all seen it before; in fact we've probably all been there before too.

I know every feminist catchcry known to (wo)man. But still, when it came to it, I was a little like that song when I was a certain someone's girlfriend. I went over to his place to cook for him. I looked after him when he was sick. I jigged class to spend time with him, drove him to the doctor's when he broke his ankle. Domesticated, nurturing things. I did them because I wanted to make him happy; I catered to him.

Which is fine. I mean, caring for each other is part and parcel of the whole going out thing.

But why I'm writing now is that often us women take that to an extreme. Destiny's Child have taken that to an extreme. Instead of just being caring, the role defines her existence. The catering girl has got 'girlfriend' on her to-do list and nothing else. She lives and breathes for the purpose of satisfying her man. She has no identity or sense of worth outside of being someone's girl - she falls apart if she is without her man.

One of my favourite movies is The Joy Luck Club. My favourite character is Rose. She starts out strong and independent, but then somehow along the way, misconstrues the notion of a 'caring and selfless wife' into being a self-denying doormat who loses her opinions, desires and identity. She thinks that by doing things for her man that he will love her; but it was the fiesty girl that he fell for, not a bumbling servant-girl. Her attempts to keep her man by catering to him actually drive him away, as he can no longer see the girl he fell in love with.

Finally, there's this bit when her mother says (something like) "My mother not know what she worth. Too late for my mother, but not too late for me. Now, let's see if not too late for you".

The beautiful thing about women is that they love to serve, they love to give. But sweethearts, don't ever lose sight of what you are worth. Come rain, hail, shine, boyfriend, no boyfriend. You are worth so much more.

posted by me. @ 4:13 PM 2 comments

True love...

I've already found it.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the presnt nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, not anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom 8:38

For you cannot love me more, and you will not love me less...

posted by me. @ 11:42 PM 0 comments

Yesterday, when the war begins (again).

I woke up this morning and made my coffee as usual, sat down to read the paper as usual.

Yesterday, Origins win afterglow. Today, terrorism in London.

I was watching TV on my dinner break at work last night when I found out about the bombings in London. Everyone tuned into AM radio to hear more glimpses of information. People crowding around the supervisor's computer to read the Reuters reports online.

Anxiety and fear. Heads shaking. Sighs and silences.

For the rest of the night, two things struck me. One, that Australia could well be the next target. Bush, Blair, Howard. US, UK, Australia. It's almost like a logical sequence, like those IQ questions where they ask which answer comes next in this pattern. The thought of this provokes great anxiety. It allowed me to understand that true meaning of terrorism. Instilling terror into society, paralysing it of peace and normality. It is not so much the act in itself, but the anticipation, the fear. Really, terrorism is the infliction of torture on a societal scale - physical damage yes, but it is the psychological torment which really breaks the donkey's back.

My second thought was, how blessed we've been up until now. Or rather, even now. I drove home, got out of my car, went to close the gate, and looked out at my front yard. I live in suburbia in the quiet night. It's not the most fancy area in town but I have water, electricity, streetlight and peace. My family are all inside safe. We in the Western world are so appalled by these incidents, yet they are commonplace in so many parts of the world. Sierra Leone, Sudan, Iraq, Zimbabwe, Columbia, India, Pakistan, Palestine. We sit around in psychiatrists' lounges lamenting about divorce, bankruptcy, car accidents. Who gives empathy to those who've seen their mothers raped and tortured, their fathers beheaded or blown up, or all their schoolfriends killed in the one day?

People are so evil. I had a lecture on management of torture victims and refugees on Wednesday and got picked on cos the lecturer thought I was falling asleep. But I actually put my head down cos listening to the description of injuries being inflicted made me so ill that tears were welling up in my eyes. I swear I would have walked out but I didn't want to make a scene. How can people torture other people. How can societies inflict terror onto other societies.

As a third point, I'll end off this post with an excerpt of the superbly written comment that Dor popped on my blog a while ago.

Terrorism is despicable and should be condemned. Every act against an innocent should be condemned. But by the same token and with the same level of vehement anger, we should condemn state-sponsored terrorism - popularly known as "war".

(Hey hon if you drop by my blog again, leave a comment? I really wanna hear what you think regarding this...)

posted by me. @ 12:00 PM 2 comments