exercising my literacy

Material world.

Deep seeded in my memory are two exchanges.

The two conversations are marked by two similarities - the person with whom I hold these conversations, and the subject that is discussed.

They are distinguished by one difference, with manifold consequences - time. Time in which circumstances have changed, time in which we have become different people.

Time in which I have grown in knowledge of the conversation subject; time in which I have grown in insight about the person with whom I converse with.

Oh if I had taped these conversations and played them one after another. How striking the juxtaposition would have been. How mindblowing the irony, how humiliating the hypocrisy.

This haunts me somewhat. Partly because of the disappointment in that person, and the integrity that I thought was there. Very few things grate me more than hypocrisy and inconsistency.

But also partly because I know that could easily me, now or in the future. I try not to judge too harshly, lest I trip on a plank protruding from my own eye. The very thought scares me into deep self-scrutiny.

And it's not even that one person. It's everyone. Days of late I feel like so many people I know are dropping like flies. Succumbing to the very evils they clicked their tongues against. Fancy dinners and expensive suits. Portfolios and Polo shirts. Golf carts and gold credit cards.

I wonder how my life will change next year. Moreso I wonder, if in someone else's subconscious, two conversations that I'll once have had with them will be played in their head...

I wonder if I will pass that test.

posted by me. @ 10:24 PM