exercising my literacy

Time.

Time will tell. In this instant world where we want the answers today, this can be tedious and irritating. But if you invest in time, and just wait, it has great wisdom to disclose. Retrospection is rich and profound.

In this too-busy world we are coerced to make decisions quickly. Sometimes though, we do so without any persuasion at all. Of our own wills, we make judgements instantaneously. What a loser, what a cutie. I like him, I don't like her.

People are never as good or as bad as these cursory appraisals. My old teacher Time taught me this. What comes up always falls down, and people aren't made for pedestals. They will only disappoint and instil disillusion and cynicism. Human relationships are only as flawed as you or I. There will always be something wrong with the right person.

Likewise, we often rule people out from the word go. And yet, in the absence of unfairly drawn expectations, we are pleasantly surprised by each of their quiet qualities.

I liken it to friendships. My best friends mean the world to me. But at the start of year 7, did I seek them out because they were "my type" or had my personality? Did I have a list or criteria of what my future friends should be like? No, we just hung out together because we got along. 13 years later, they still have different interests and thoughts to me. But I appreciate that about them, I love them for who they are. I wouldn't trade them for anyone else in the world.

Sure, a best friend is different to a boyfriend. But the same principle exists. Of course you want to go out with someone who is caring and a good person. But the "list" that some people have in their minds - doesn't it scream narcissism? I will only consider going out with certain people that I think are good enough. Who will like things that I approve of. Whose "coolness" will reflect on me positively. It reeks of consumerism, of everything as an extension of the self. As people use clothes and cars to display their individualism, so now, our partners?

Relationships are not about choosing someone with the tech specs and special features that most take your fancy. It is about companionship. It is about who will walk the line with you. It doesn't matter if they like all the same things as you do, laugh at the same jokes, draw the same ideals, if you can't trust that they will be there for you tomorrow. If they don't honour you with love and respect.

Time tells so much. It will reveal the holes in an idealised paramour. It will unravel the diamonds in the rough. It will examine how much or little you really understand about boys and girls and the whole love thing between two people. Who will understand and be granted its reward, and who will be left standing alone, pining for no one except the reflection in his mirror.

posted by me. @ 8:19 AM